Holy Hotflashes!!

Day 18...Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prenatal, E2V Injection

Well...today was quite a roller coaster of emotions.  I started my morning off in a rather bad mood.  I should have gotten up at 6am but didn't roll out of bed until 7am...of course the fact that I took Tylenol PM at midnight didn't help at all...I don't even remember turning my alarm off at 6.  So I had to go for b/w this morning...I went to the lab that I've used before only to have them tell me they don't do estrodial STAT.  I never even thought about a lab not doing a test STAT.  So I asked the chick where I should go...she suggested one of the hospitals...so thats what I do...on my way there I call another lab I've used to see if they can do it...nope...so I go to the hospital...I'm so annoyed at this point as I am not going to be late for work!  DH drops me off at the front...thinking I will just run in and get it done and get out quick...wrong!  I have to go to the Outpatient Registration...I give them my name, ask to make sure they can do it STAT...the chick says its not a problem...so I wait....15 minutes....they call me to the window and I start answering all the questions...all this for b/w...after about 15 minutes I'm done with them and I can move on to the lab...woohoo!!  After waiting 20 minutes I'm finally called back...the lab tech is an older woman, really nice, soft spoken...she makes a joke about how I'm going to be easy b/c her last 3 were urine drug tests and none of them could pee...she seemed annoyed that they came to the lab, knowing they had to pee in a cup and they didn't drink a bottle of water.  I asked her again to make sure the test would be sent to my RE today and she assured me it would.  I had everyone I spoke to confirm it was be done b/c I really didn't want a surprise at 4pm that my RE didn't get the results!  So the tech asks if I'm trying to get pregnant...I tell her yes, that I am doing a FET.  She asked if I would be a good mom and raise my baby to love Jesus.  I thought this was a little odd but said yes.  She sd she would tell me in a minute why she asked...she kind of quizzed me about my infertility...maybe I just gave the info...idk...she was easy to talk to...it was strange...I told her we had been ttc 6 years and have a DS, I told her I m/c in Nov. after my fresh cycle.  She sd "Well women are much more fertile after a m/c"  I kind of laughed b/c I've heard this so many times.  After she drew my blood she placed her hands on my stomach...It was kind of akward...I didn't really know what to do or say...so I set there...she then says "I blessed your womb, God isn't going to make you suffer any longer...you are going to have this baby and when you find out your pregnant I want you to come back and share the news with me."  I started crying...I don't go to church, I'm not a holy person...but I do believe in a higher power...I believe there is something out there bigger than all of us.  I think people come into our lives for a reason...I thanked her...I told her I really needed that today.  She sd "I know sweetie, now stop worrying and have a great day"  I thought it was strange she told me to stop worrying...why choose those words...I've been worried sick about something going wrong...the past few days have been tough emotionally...She told me God knew what he was doing and he wasn't going to make me struggle any longer, that I would carry another child in my womb and deliver a happy healthy baby...She hugged me, I told her I would be back Friday for my next estrodial check.  She sd good, she would be happy to see me again.  I've felt very emotional all day.  I'm sure its the meds but I also feel a sense of calm....I feel more positive then before...not that I haven't felt good about this cycle...idk...not sure how to explain it.  I just really needed someone to tell me its going to be ok...for someone to tell me I'm going to have a baby...So I am going to keep up the positive attitude and I'm super excited about getting knocked up soon!! 

This afternoon my nurse emailed me and my E2 was 326...I had to up my dose of estrogen to .3ml  I thought .2ml was bad...That shiz hurt like a MFer!!!  Of course it didn't help that DH had to give it to me in the car...that was interesting...we left work early so we could go to bil basketball game...there was no where else we could do it without someone finding out...so we were in the parking garage at work...I laid my seat back and rolled to my side....I cussed him the whole time...not a good idea...the more I cuss, the slower he does it b/c he doesn't want to hurt me...I'd be fine with him just pushing it in as fast as it will go!  Just get it over with!!  So now I'm just hoping that my E2 is ok...my nurse didn't seem concerned.  I go back for another check on Friday to find out what my dose will be then...Then Monday I head to Dallas for my u/s and b/w to see if we get to transfer the following Monday!!!  Its getting so close!!!  I'm so excited!!!

I must say the higher dose of estrogen did quite a number on me...I've had hot flashes like crazy all evening!  I've already been dealing with night sweats so I'm sure tonight will be fun!!  Its just fine with me tho...I'll take it if it means I'm one step closer to my BFP!!!!  I'm also a weepy, emotional wreck...have horrible headaches, heartburn like no other and I can't sleep!!  But, I'm not letting it get me down...I'm keeping a smile on my face!!!!