Monday, February 28, 2011

The days are getting longer...

Day 31...Dexamethasone, Azithromyoson, Prenatal, PIO

Last day of the antibiotic!  Woohoo!!  Only 3 more days...I'm so anxious.  These next couple of days can't go by fast enough!!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

The day of rest...

Day 30...Dexamethasone, Azithromyosen, Prenatal, PIO

Enjoying a lazy Sunday.  I have tons of stuff I need to do.  I need to get stuff for the shower next weekend since I will be on bed rest Thursday and Friday.  I'm going to buy the hostess gift today...need to get decorations but that might wait until Friday evening.  We'll see if I can get myself together today.  I'm walking with a limp b/c my hip is so sore from the PIO yesterday...I feel like I fell really hard.  I didn't sleep very good last night b/c every time I rolled to my left side it hurt...I'm doing one in each hip tonight to see how that is!  Just 4 more days!  I can't wait!!

Saturday, February 26, 2011

The things we will do for the babies we already love so much!!

Day 29...Dexamethasone, Azithromyosen, Prenatal, PIO

I would like to start off my saying I have no clue how to spell Azithromyosen and I will probably spell it different every post...I'm too lazy to get up and go look at the package...

Well, we went to watch BIL play basketball tonight.  The won districts last week and lost tonight so they were runner up in Regionals...they start Area Thursday, so I won't be able to go, since I will be on bed rest...if they win Thursday they will play again Friday.  If they lose he's done, this is his Senior year so Thursday could be his last game...makes me sad I'm going to miss it...hopefully they win all 3 games and make it to State! 

Since we were out of town when it came time for PIO I took it with me and DH and I had to get creative...luckily BIL needed a ride to the gym and MIL wasn't ready to DH and I took him and I got injected in the ass in a HS parking lot, in the car...I decided to try the entire 2cc with one injection to see how it went..OUCH!  It wasn't so bad doing it but I am so sore now!  I have heated seats in my car so I turned them on before I did it and then had them on after...then kept it on the hour drive home...still so sore...I'm thinking it might be better to just do 2 injections...I will try 2 tomorrow and see how it goes...Its going to be a long 4 weeks!  It will be worth it when my babies are growing inside of me tho! 

Friday, February 25, 2011

6 days and counting!!!!

Day 27...Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prenatal

Day 28...Dexamethasone, Azithromyosone, Prenatal, PIO, E2V Injection

Tonight was the first night of 2 IM fun!  I decided to do both in the same hip...OUCH...I can barely sit!  Oh's only going to get worse from here so I might as well get over it! 

I'm finally done with the Lupron, which is nice.  I won't have to get up at 7am on weekends.  I have to take 3 pills in the AM but it isn't a big deal if its at 10am, or whenever I roll out of bed!  I can't believe I only have 6 days left!  I'm so flippin excited! 

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Cake before dinner? Yes, please!

Day 26...Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prenatal

Can you say exhausted?  It was a long day...worked almost 10 hours and then went to the OTA Awards Banquet this evening.  The food was so-so...we sit down at our table and our dessert is already there...they seriously expect me to wait 20 minutes for my salad and not try the cake?  The salad was not so great...the croutons were stale...finally the main was a nice size fillet...with marinara.  It was weird but kind good.  Then mashed potatoes and asparagus...and a roll...I must say, the roll was pretty dang good!  I could have eaten 10 of them!  But I didn't...I only got one!  As soon as they took that plate away I was all over that chocolate cake.  I wasn't disappointed.  It was pretty dang amazing!! 

Well tomorrow is my last day of I sit here I realize I'm kind of AF is coming.  First time I noticed it...maybe its just my body telling me its exhausted and needs sleep!  Night!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

We've got a gusher...

Day 25...Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prenatal, E2V Injection

that's what DH says after giving me my E2V injection!  I had him put a little round band aid on it and I went on my merry little way.  I'm excited I only have 2 more days of Lupron!  I won't have to wake up at 7am this weekend!  I may actually sleep in!  I'm trying to decide what time to do my PIO...I did it at 7pm for my first IVF...I'm thinking I might do it at 9pm this go around...we are usually always home by then and if we did having something to do in the evening I wouldn't have to worry about doing my shot away from home...

Now for a funny...

So, DH and I work together...we had new hire in for training last Friday and DH was going their training the public library across from our building.  At lunch they had ordered City Bites and gotten sandwiches and cookies...well that afternoon DH called and asked me to run over and get some stuff to make copies of and he needed me to take him a few things...I go over, see the cookies and whisper "Can I have a cookie?" He smiles and says "Of course you can!"  I go get my cookies and go back to the office...on the way home from work DH says "I can't believe you asked me for a quickie."  I looked at him all kinds of crazy and asked what the hell he was talking about.  I was replaying the day in my head and trying to figure out when I was feeling frisky enough to ask for a quickie at work!!  He says "In the library, you asked for a quickie!"  I cracked up!!  He was so disappointed when I told him I just wanted a cookie!  He went all afternoon thinking I was all hot and bothered by myself at work!  He is such a dork!  I just had to someone had girl scout cookies and I took one to DH and asked "You want a cookie?"  He told me to go away!  lol

Monday, February 21, 2011

Today was a wonderful I'm exhausted!

Day 24...Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prenatal...U/S and B/W

Well I made the trip to Dallas today!  I had an u/s done to check my lining and blood drawn to check my E2.  I suppose my E2 was fine since Heather didn't call me.  My lining was great.  They look for it to be over 9mm...mine was 17mm!!  So my uterus us nice and ready for those embies to snuggle in!!!  I asked my RE what he thought about thawing my embies and if we'd have to thaw all 6 to get enough to transfer or if we'd still have some...he told me he isn't worried about the embies!  I just need to  get myself there and take care of them once he does his part!  I have the best RE ever!  I love that he doesn't seem worried or stressed..I know this is his job but he seems very optimistic.  Since he isn't worried about the thaw...I'm not going to worry myself over it either.  I think he would have been honest if he wasn't sure how they would thaw...he seemed to think there wouldn't be any problems.  After the u/s I talked to Heather.  She gave me my new calendar!!!  Thursday is my last day of Lupron, then I start my antibiotic for 4 days and the progesterone starts!  I still do E2V on Tuesdays and Friday I get 2 shots in the bum!  The first PIO is just 1cc like last time, then the next night I start 2cc...not looking forward to 2 shots in the butt every night and 2 days a week I get 3!!  Whatever it takes!   It will all be worth it!!  My transfer will be at 1pm on March 3rd.  I will take off work that day and the following day.  Which works out b/c Hutson has his program on Friday afternoon so I will be able to go to it!!  I planned on going anyway but this way its just easier!  I talked to Heather about being able to come home after the transfer...she sd as long as I'm not driving and I'm just relaxing in the passenger seat its just fine...she sd to do 24 hrs bedrest and then light duty.   I told her about the baby shower I am in charge of Saturday and she sd I can do light duty and no lifting I'll decorate a little and let everyone else do the hard work.. They will probably think I am such an ass...Only 2 people know I'm doing this.  One of them will be at the shower and she sd she'd cover for me so I should be ok.  Its crazy to think in just 10 days I will be PUPO!!!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Why does it still hurt....

After 6 years why can't I just be ok with seeing pregnant women and babies everywhere?  Its like when you buy a new car...all of a sudden everywhere you look you see cars just like yours.  Well...if you really want a'll see them everywhere.  I went shopping today for a relatives baby shower...I'm a host, I made the invites, going to order cookies tomorrow...buying all of the decorations...I bought a few onesies today...I couldn't do anymore than just hurts too much to be buying for someone else when all I can think is I should be buying for my own baby...I really try to ignore these feelings, just file them away and forget I feel so hurt about the m/c still.  But it is so hard.  I don't know what I will do if this FET doesn't work...or if I m/c again...idk if I can handle it.  I just may completely fall apart...I've held it together for 6 years...a breakdown is bound to happen.  I just want my happy ending and family of 4.  I love our little family of 3 but I feel like its there is another baby for us.  I'm anxious to find out tomorrow when I get to pick up my babies and get them where they belong...I'm still really hoping my RE will transfer 3 also.  I want to do all we can to maximize our chances of getting pregnant.  I think I will just go to bed now so I will stop thinking about it!!!  The worst part of driving 3 hours each way to go to the RE is all of the thinking my little brain does!!!  Its a miracle I'm still sane! 

Its Sunday!!

Day 23...Lupron, Dexamethasone and Prenatal

I'm so ready for tomorrow!!  Trying to stay busy today so I don't think about far I haven't been successful!  I slept in a little tho so that helped...I need to hop in the shower and go to the grocery store...I'm in the mood to bake so I was thinking about baking something...not sure if that's a good idea b/c then I will just eat it! 

Saturday, February 19, 2011

WTF? Wishing away my weekend...

Day 22...Lupron, Dexamethasone and Prenatal

Not much going on...just ready for Monday!!!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Wow...its happening so fast!

Day 21...Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prenatal, E2V Injection

I went in for b/w again this morning...woke up at to the lab by 6am!  I had another crazy experience at the lab.  First the girl who registered me was super chatty and told me about wrecking her car yesterday and having to find a ride to work...she sd its not easy to find someone willing to take you to work at 6am...she was funny.  She said she was in a horrible mood and just wanted to cry.  I made her laugh and she seemed pretty peppy by the time she was done with my paperwork!  I went to the lab and of course got right in!  The lab tech was an older woman..probably in her upper 60's...she was so nice.  She of course asked if I was TTC.  I told her yes, we are doing a FET.  She then saw the tattoo on my arm (DS footprints from his birth certificate) so she asked if I had a child already.  I told her yes, he's 7 and we've been TTC for 6 years.  She made a comment about us trying right away, I told her it didn't make a difference since here we are 6 years later...I told her its easy to want another one and to do whatever it takes to have another child b/c DS is so perfect...I can't imagine not having more babies just like him...she got all teary eyed and I thought she was going to cry...she told me I'm a good Mom and she can tell I love my baby!  I love that a complete stranger can hear me talk about DS once and they know what he means to me...that kid is my world!  During all this talking the tech was trying to get my vein to pop up...the veins in my arms are deep...I'm a phlebotomist nightmare!  She finally stuck a tiny bit of blood when she hit the vein and the vein surprise...I knew it was going to happen...She dug around for a minute and then stopped b/c she was afraid she was hurting me.  She didn't feel comfortable sticking me again so she called someone from the main lab.  I appreciate her not using me as a pin cushion...some techs just want to prove a point that they can get blood out of me and they'll dig around as long as it takes and poke me all they can!  We ended up walking down to the main lab...the lead phlebotomist comes out...looking rather confident.  As they always do...its funny, I just giggle to myself! He starts poking around on my arm...looks at my hand...back to my arm...then says "Wow, she wasn't are a nightmare!"  About the time he was about to job that needle in my arm the original tech comes out and says the person who runs the labs sd she had enough blood for the E2 test and they didn't need anymore!  There were several sighs of relief!!!  I was glad to be done with that!  I hate all the b/w, not b/c it hurts, I'm used to it at this point.  Its just annoying! 

I got an email from my nurse.  She didn't tell me my # but sd my E2 was great!  I had to do the same dose of estrogen (.3ml).  I really hate that stuff...I think I have some major nerve damage from the PIO last the time I'm done with it this time I won't be able to sit!!  Just sitting here now I am so sore!! I emailed my nurse back to see what to expect for Monday...she sd Dr. S will be looking to see that my lining is thick enough for implantation...she sd if it isn't I will go back on Friday after taking something to help thicken it...she doesn't think I will have a problem tho...My lining is always fine.  She sd either way I will be starting PIO Wed, Thurs or Fri.  So that means my transfer will be Tues, Wed or Thurs...Its so close!!!  I will know more on Monday!  So, I'm going to enjoy my weekend and get ready for my appt on Monday!!! 

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Too busy watching Vampire Diaries for anything clever...

Day 20...Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prenatal

I go in tomorrow to check my E2.  It needs to be between 500-1000 on Monday.  I think I will be fine!  I really hope everything is a go Monday and I don't have to go back to be checked again.  I should have my transfer on 2/28.  That's just 10 days!!!!!! 

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Busy Night...I really need to get more clever with my titles!

Day 19...Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prenatal

Today was a LONG day!  I didn't get anything done at work...I really don't know what I did all day.  I made myself look busy, I feel like I was busy but nothing to show for it.  Oh well, everyone needs a day like that now and again!  Had to go to Kinko's after work to get baby shower invites printed for a cousin's shower the first weekend of next month.  The guy forgot to give me my USB now I have to go back tomorrow.  I finally washed my car!  The snow had it all kind of nasty!  I had DH call chicken salads in to Texas Roadhouse...I get it home and we had no chicken...So I head back that way...I call on my way...I was really nice, surprisingly!  I don't do well with restaurant screw ups!  Its makes me so mad!  Anyway, they had me talk to a manager, I told him I needed my chicken.  He was super nice, I get there and he gets me a drink...brings out my food and he gave me new chicken salads and 2 appetizers!  Of course, I have now eaten WAY too much! 

Now I have 100 invites to make!  Yikes!  Lets see how many I can get done tonight!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Holy Hotflashes!!

Day 18...Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prenatal, E2V Injection was quite a roller coaster of emotions.  I started my morning off in a rather bad mood.  I should have gotten up at 6am but didn't roll out of bed until 7am...of course the fact that I took Tylenol PM at midnight didn't help at all...I don't even remember turning my alarm off at 6.  So I had to go for b/w this morning...I went to the lab that I've used before only to have them tell me they don't do estrodial STAT.  I never even thought about a lab not doing a test STAT.  So I asked the chick where I should go...she suggested one of the thats what I do...on my way there I call another lab I've used to see if they can do I go to the hospital...I'm so annoyed at this point as I am not going to be late for work!  DH drops me off at the front...thinking I will just run in and get it done and get out quick...wrong!  I have to go to the Outpatient Registration...I give them my name, ask to make sure they can do it STAT...the chick says its not a I wait....15 minutes....they call me to the window and I start answering all the questions...all this for b/w...after about 15 minutes I'm done with them and I can move on to the lab...woohoo!!  After waiting 20 minutes I'm finally called back...the lab tech is an older woman, really nice, soft spoken...she makes a joke about how I'm going to be easy b/c her last 3 were urine drug tests and none of them could pee...she seemed annoyed that they came to the lab, knowing they had to pee in a cup and they didn't drink a bottle of water.  I asked her again to make sure the test would be sent to my RE today and she assured me it would.  I had everyone I spoke to confirm it was be done b/c I really didn't want a surprise at 4pm that my RE didn't get the results!  So the tech asks if I'm trying to get pregnant...I tell her yes, that I am doing a FET.  She asked if I would be a good mom and raise my baby to love Jesus.  I thought this was a little odd but said yes.  She sd she would tell me in a minute why she asked...she kind of quizzed me about my infertility...maybe I just gave the info...idk...she was easy to talk was strange...I told her we had been ttc 6 years and have a DS, I told her I m/c in Nov. after my fresh cycle.  She sd "Well women are much more fertile after a m/c"  I kind of laughed b/c I've heard this so many times.  After she drew my blood she placed her hands on my stomach...It was kind of akward...I didn't really know what to do or I set there...she then says "I blessed your womb, God isn't going to make you suffer any are going to have this baby and when you find out your pregnant I want you to come back and share the news with me."  I started crying...I don't go to church, I'm not a holy person...but I do believe in a higher power...I believe there is something out there bigger than all of us.  I think people come into our lives for a reason...I thanked her...I told her I really needed that today.  She sd "I know sweetie, now stop worrying and have a great day"  I thought it was strange she told me to stop worrying...why choose those words...I've been worried sick about something going wrong...the past few days have been tough emotionally...She told me God knew what he was doing and he wasn't going to make me struggle any longer, that I would carry another child in my womb and deliver a happy healthy baby...She hugged me, I told her I would be back Friday for my next estrodial check.  She sd good, she would be happy to see me again.  I've felt very emotional all day.  I'm sure its the meds but I also feel a sense of calm....I feel more positive then before...not that I haven't felt good about this cycle...idk...not sure how to explain it.  I just really needed someone to tell me its going to be ok...for someone to tell me I'm going to have a baby...So I am going to keep up the positive attitude and I'm super excited about getting knocked up soon!! 

This afternoon my nurse emailed me and my E2 was 326...I had to up my dose of estrogen to .3ml  I thought .2ml was bad...That shiz hurt like a MFer!!!  Of course it didn't help that DH had to give it to me in the car...that was interesting...we left work early so we could go to bil basketball game...there was no where else we could do it without someone finding we were in the parking garage at work...I laid my seat back and rolled to my side....I cussed him the whole time...not a good idea...the more I cuss, the slower he does it b/c he doesn't want to hurt me...I'd be fine with him just pushing it in as fast as it will go!  Just get it over with!!  So now I'm just hoping that my E2 is nurse didn't seem concerned.  I go back for another check on Friday to find out what my dose will be then...Then Monday I head to Dallas for my u/s and b/w to see if we get to transfer the following Monday!!!  Its getting so close!!!  I'm so excited!!!

I must say the higher dose of estrogen did quite a number on me...I've had hot flashes like crazy all evening!  I've already been dealing with night sweats so I'm sure tonight will be fun!!  Its just fine with me tho...I'll take it if it means I'm one step closer to my BFP!!!!  I'm also a weepy, emotional wreck...have horrible headaches, heartburn like no other and I can't sleep!!  But, I'm not letting it get me down...I'm keeping a smile on my face!!!! 

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day

Day 17...Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prenatal

I hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine's Day!!!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

You've got to be kidding me!

Day 15...Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prenatal

Day 16...Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prenatal

Its been a busy weekend!!! 

I took DS to a birthday party yesterday at a science museum.  It was a lot fun!  He wants to have his birthday there now.  I'm sure he'll change his mind 100 times by October!  After the party we went to see my brother, his wife and my niece.  I just love that little girl so much but she is such a little shit!  My sil recently found out she's pregnant...she's probably 8 or 9 weeks...she hasn't been to the doctor yet, much be be nearly out of your first trimester and still haven't gone to the doctor.  Every time she has seen me since finding out she talks about how scared she is that she will m/c...idk if she truely is scared she will m/c or if its a jab at me...I try to give her the benefit of the doubt but she can be a bitch...she portrays herself as this sweet Christian but she has another side...She is very manipulitive...While visiting with her she kept complaining about how sick she's been and how horrible she feels...she then looks right at me and says "I'll trade you!"  I came so close to punching her in the face.  I'll trade you?  Are you fucking serious!!!!  You don't say that to someone who has tried to concieve for 6 years and recently had a m/c....I should be 24 weeks into my pregnancy...I'll take your morning sickness you stupid bitch!  I said "I'd gladly take it" and walked about.  I so wanted to tell her to fuck off!  She rubbed her first pregnacy in my face...why wouldn't she do the same this time.  I just pray this FET works and I can enjoy my morning sickness and exhaustion!  I want more than anything to puke every time I eat and feel like I can never get enough sleep...oh what I would give!  For now...I will keep my mouth shut...I will continue to silently struggle and feel what I'm going to feel.  I'll be ok tho...I always am. 

Friday, February 11, 2011


Day 14...Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prental, E2V Injection

Moving right along!  I go in Tuesday for b/w to see what dose of estrogen I have to do that day...that's really it for now!  Plan to enjoy my weekend!!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Chicken and Noodles!

Day 13...Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prenatal

I'm exhausted...but the dex keeps me I'm like a zombie.  The snow has screwed up my work week and I'm staying super busy at work and trying to keep up with everything!  Trying not to get stressed out...I think its time for a pedicure!!  Maybe I will treat myself this weekend!

I made chicken and noodles for dinner...I must say, I make the best damn chicken and noodles!  I made oatmeal raisin cookies yesterday...YUM!  The dex also gives me the munchies!  So I have been eating like crazy the past 2 weeks!  I've really got to be a little more careful so I don't gain a ton of weight!  I'm just hungry all of the time!  I think I did better today, I kept busy with work so I didn't snack all day.  I was ready to eat as soon as I got home tho!  Hopefully I can keep busy this weekend and not just sit around and stuff my face! 

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Dragging along...

Day 12...Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prenatal

I feel like I am in slow motion...the last 12 days seemed to have flown by but I still have about 20 days before my is starting to feel like so far away.  I'm feeling very impatient.  I'm just so ready for this to happen...I just want to get the tww over with and know if it worked.  It scares me that it won't work...ugh, I hate this feeling.  I do feel hopeful tho...I have no reason to believe it won't work.  Maybe I'm just anxious...the excitement is just too much for me! 

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

2011 Blizzard: The Sequel

Day 11...Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prenatal, E2V injection

Well it was my first estrogen injection and I think that oil is thicker than the PIO!  DH did it for me since its in my hip and to hard for me to twist around and bled a lot...I actually ended up putting a band aid on it.  I'm glad to get the first one over with!  I only do those on Tuesday and Thursdays so it won't be so bad!

It looks like tomorrow might be another snow day!  I'm kind of looking forward to it.  As much as I was off last week and then being off yesterday I really need to be at work but I brought tons of stuff home with me and I'm hoping I can get more done since I won't have my phone and email to distract me!  We'll see!!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Long drive for a 20 minute appointment...

Day 10...Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prenatal....U/S and B/W

Well I had my first u/s and b/w for this cycle.  Everything on the u/s looked cysts!!!  Thank goodness, I was a little worried after my fresh cycle and I had to have one aspirated!  That wasn't fun at all!  But everything looked good!  My lining looked awesome as always...its so weird to have someone tell you that your uterine lining looks nice and you take it as a compliment!  I had my E2 checked, my nurse said she'd only call me if there was a problem and I never heard from her so I guess it was ok!  I have to start my estrogen injections tomorrow...not looking forward to it but they are only 2 times a week...I will do those 2 times a week until my beta doubles...they won't be so bad until I start the PIO also...3 shots in the a$$ in 1 day doesn't sound fun!  I'm ready to get it going though!  This is finally starting to move fast...I can't believe I'm on day 10....Just a little over 2 weeks left!!!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Well Damn...

Day 9...Lupron, Dexamethason, Prenatal

The Steelers lost...I'm totally bummed.  They just didn't make the plays they needed too and had too many turnovers!  Maybe we can try again next season!  I'm sad that football season is over already!!  I LOVE football, college and pro!  Now I have to find other ways to occupy my weekends until August!

Tomorrow is my u/s and b/w.  I'm anxious...I guess I just want to know that everything is going as it should and we are still on track...its too early for anything to go wrong so I don't know what I expect to find out!  Its going to be a long day!!  Guess I better get in bed!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

My ramblings...

Day 8...Lupron, Dexamethesone, Prenatal

Waking up at 7am on a Saturday for an injection is no fun...then trying to go back to sleep isn't easy!  It doesn't help that the Dex causes insomnia so if I don't get back to sleep quick then I'm up...I haven't slept past 10 since starting it...I usually sleep until at least noon on weekends!  Its kind of my thing...I like my sleep.  And it is now 1am and I'm wide awake!  My sister, bil, brother, sil and niece all came over this evening!  I love hanging out with all of them!  I feel so blessed to have such awesome siblings that I am so close to.  I can't imagine not having them around!  My sister is my best friend.  I feel like I can talk to her about anything without worrying what she'll think.  I know she will always have my back no matter what.  The same for my brother...he is 4 years younger than me and at times I feel like I mother him more than I maybe should be we have a great relationship!  He has grown up so much the last couple of years, I guess having a kid does that to he has another one on the way.  I couldn't be more thrilled for him and his wife.  They have grown a lot together in the past year...I just hope they continue to grow as a couple and as parents.  Its important for me to have another baby b/c I want that kind of relationship for DS.  I want him to have a sibling he can share everything with.  I want him to have the same kind of support that I've had from my siblings.  It hurts me to think I may not be able to give him that.  People have said that I'm lucky to at least have Hutson and that I should be thankful for what I have.  And I am.  I am so thankful for DS but what if someone told them they could have only 1 of their 3 kids...No one told them to be thankful for their first child and not continue having more...they didn't have to face that b/c they didn't have to deal with infertility...Someone with 2 kids couldn't imagine life without that 2nd child...I know you can't miss something you never had but I do...I long for another child to care for...I miss that baby that should be in my womb...I want so bad to touch my stomach and know there is a life in know that the heartache is over...but it isn' continues.  I'm feeling very positive about my FET...I did get pregnant before so I know I can do it again...I just want so bad for it to work.  I try to prepare myself for the what ifs....what if it doesn't work, what if I have another m/c...what if it does work...what if I never have to try to conceive again...what if its all over in less than 30 days and I finally get my 2nd blessing...Can I be so lucky?  I would love more than anything to get pregnant on the 6 year anniversary of TTC!  I would love to put those 6 years behind us and never think about all of the heartache again. 

Friday, February 4, 2011

Still trying to figure this out...

So I'm new to the whole blogging thing...Where do I find cool layouts?  I've found some but they are very plain and my page just looks so generic...I want it to look more like me!  I can't do the whole html writing thing...I just want to click some buttons and make it happen...any pointers/tips are appreciated!!


Day 7...Lupron, Dexamethasone, Prenatal...AF!!!

So I've been waiting for AF since stopping the BCP and she arrived on time!!  I'm glad b/c with my fresh cycle I just had a very little bit of spotting.  So I am just waiting for my u/s and b/w on Monday!  I'm getting excited!!

I've got a busy weekend planned with UFC fights and the Superbowl!!  Ready to see my Steelers beat the Packers!!!!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

And another snow day...

Day 6...Lupron, Dexamethasone and Prenatal

If I don't get out of the house soon I might go crazy!!!  DH had a friend from work pick him up this morning but I decided to stay home b/c my stomach is hurting...idk if its the meds or I'm trying to get a stomach bug...I actually got sick last night and my stomach was cramping so bad I went to bed early...I'm feeling a little better now, just feel like I could yak!  I'm getting some AF cramps also...she should show today or tomorrow.  With my fresh cycle I had a very little spotting, I feel like I'm going to get more than that this go around...

I go to the RE on Monday...I'm excited!  It will just be an u/s and b/w.  I just pray I don't have a cyst like last time!  Since its a FET I don't even know if the cyst would bother anything...just keeping my FX I don't have to do another aspiration...that was AWFUL!!

Well I guess I will enjoy my snow day...maybe I will shovel the driveway later and try to get out....

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Enjoying the snow!!!

Thought I would share a few pics!

Another lazy day...

Day 6...Lupron, Dexamethasone and Prenatal

I'm done with BCP!!  I can't believe by the end of the month I will be doing my FET!  Not much going on, the needle didn't want to go in this morning and it hurt like hell!  I think its b/c I was barely awake...I need to get better at jabbing...I just kind of stick it in...I think I need to do it faster.  Some days its super easy and goes right in...other days I poke myself a couple of times before it goes in...You'd think I would be a pro at this by now...I'm not, I just kind of go with it.  Just a few more days and I have my first u/s and b/w!!  Yay!

We got another snow day!  Woohoo!  I've done some work from home, played in the snow with DS and now we are eating grilled cheese and tomato soup!  I love lazy days but I'm getting a little stir crazy too...boredom has set in!  Maybe I will take a nap this afternoon to pass the time!  Not sure if I will be able to get out tomorrow either!  Its still below freezing and the snow doesn't look like its going anywhere!  I'm thinking Friday might be the next time I can get out!  Oh well...I'm going to enjoy it while I can!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Its a blizzard...

Day 5...Lupron, Dexamethason, Prenatal, LAST BCP!!!!

I guess the weatherman was right!  Its snowing like crazy!  I will put pics up later!